TV producer David E. Kelley (Ally McBeal, Boston Legal) was unable to land a network deal for his proposed Wonder Woman reboot. I am going to take this sad fact as a chance to speculate on who should play Wonder Woman, should Kelley’s show (or anyone else’s) ever make it to the airwaves. For the 600th issue of DC Comics’ Wonder Woman, the famed buttkicker received a makeover:
So who should take on the Lasso of Truth and ride the invisible airplane? In the latest reworking of the her backstory, Wonder Woman (aka Diana Prince) is trying to fit into the modern world after being rescued as a baby from her native Paradise Island and her Amazonian mother and sisters.
Terrible Choices: Kristen Stewart, Alexis Bledel and Jessica Pare – The Bella Swan, Rori Gilmore and future Mrs. Don Drapers should be crossed off the list, along with any of their delicate-featured, wispy-figured peers. The brunette beauty trying to assimilate and search out her past bit might be doable, but the asskicking would be a stretch.
Unexpected Choice #2: Rosario Dawson – Given that Diana Prince has Amazonian roots, I think it would be pretty sweet to pick a non-white actress. Dawson isn’t Brazilian, but her Puerto-Rican/Afro-Cuban/Taino heritage would let her pass as such. Plus, she’s tall and has a killer rack. So there’s that.
My Choice (in Emily’s Fantasy Land): Jennifer Carpenter – Carpenter (aka Deb Morgan on Dexter) doesn’t have the va-va-voom figure or the big hair, but she has this strong-jawed face and this incredible intensity that I think would be super compelling. I also love the idea of a different kind of sexy superhero, a narrow-hipped, boyishly-built 30-something. Especially in recent seasons, I watch Dexter for the joy of Deb’s awkward, awesome, powerful presence. Everything she feels can be read across her face, and I think she could do badass-on-the-outside/struggling-to-find-her-place-on-the-inside really, really well.
Knowing the world we live in, if a Wonder Woman show ever gets made, I’m sure they will cast a 17-year-old Victoria’s Secret model or just put a Kardashian in thigh-highs and call it a day. Sigh.