Tag Archives: Halloween

So Many Things!

It has been quite a while, my dear Internet friends. I’d apologize for the absence but I’m having way too much fun at my new job to want to apologize for it. The Matilda Effect is still ongoing and I’m truly hoping it lasts forever.

That said, I’ve missed sharing my new stuff with you! So… A few things that have happened since we last spoke (… wrote? read? communicated via pixels?). From newest to oldest:

Show up. Just do it. I wrote about the simple but often un- or under-appreciated value of showing up, especially when it’s cold, you’re busy, and Netflix is calling. This was partly inspired by Wait But Why and Eric Liu’s phenomenal book A Chinaman’s Chance (really just one chapter of it, but seriously, read the whole thing):


On Ego and Exercise. After running my first (and probably only) half-marathon, I wrote about why I exercise and the intersection of ego and self-care.


On slutty slutty Halloween. Every October (this now seems woefully out of date), there are endless think pieces about why girls dress so scantily. I’m so bored of this conversation, so… I wrote another think piece.


On the pay gap and “trusting the system.” Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella got into trouble by suggesting that women should just work hard and wait around to be recognized and failed to acknowledge systemic and cultural reasons for the pay gap. Oh yeah, this was at a conference for women in tech…




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Filed under Body Image, Chicago, Gender, Media, Politics, Sports

I promise this is not a post about blackface

I promise this is not an post about blackface, although for the first paragraph or so it might seem that way. Blackface is inevitably in the news this time of year as people nationwide make terrible costume decisions. See Julianne Hough. This is a post about the calling out of privilege, the ease with which one can unintentionally offend, and the fact that ultimately, unintentionality is entirely beside the point. So here’s what happened:

The backstory: In light of Julianne Hough, my brother and I were discussing why blackface is offensive. Neither of us was suggesting that it is not racist or in any way advocating for its acceptability, but we were testing the boundaries of it in a purely academic sense (and yes, I know that sounds uber douchy, but as you will soon see, the douche-factor is sufficiently addressed by what happens next). We were talking about the difference between blackface and other forms of racial imitation (white people with dreadlocks or cornrows, for example). Why are some considered more harmful than others, etc (one obvious answer is the history of minstrel shows which hinged on blackface). We ultimately agreed that, regardless of whether we could articulate in any specific way why blackface was so offensive, it didn’t matter because we know that it causes harm, so duh… don’t do it.

Chapter 1: I am overeager with social media: After our conversation, I went a-reading on the interwebz, as I am apt to do, to see what good writing was out there on the subject of blackface. I found a bunch of interesting things, but nothing that I thought was accessible for my brother (and I wanted to continue our conversation). So, I posted this in FB:


A bunch of helpful people sent articles and commented, and I wrote a follow-up  email to my brother using some of the new stuff people sent and sent it off without a thought.

Chapter 2: In which I found out that tone is important: I got a Facebook message from an old friend named Laura. Though she (correctly) assumed that my intentions were good, she had a “wtf reaction” to my post and solicited opinions from some of her friends who are all, like her, women of color. And man, their responses were brutal. A few highlights:

"I find Emily's comment offputting because I feel that she is digging for something deeper than racism which kinda makes me feel like she does not get race relations. I say kinda because I obviously don't know her. She wants a reasoning for black face being unacceptable to please her audience. (Wtf to please her audience?) Anyway, how is racism not enough of a reason?" 
"my advice to her would be if you don't know the answer, maybe you don't need to be the one trying to go around and educate other white folks who "don't get it." and relying on "comprehensive" "articulate" "pieces" (of what?) seems to me like she's looking for a good journal article to circulate, which brings up its own issues of what is a legitimate source of information. also does she really not know the history of blackface in particular? google that shit." 
"Agreed! also, to add to D's point, why does she have to use "hyper-academic jargon"? Can't she just say that blackface is a remnant of one of the most overtly racist facets of pop culture in American history? The end? " 
" Her comment irritates me specifically because it seems like her intentions are good, but if she doesn't understand why blackface is so much more than "cultural appropriation," I question her motives on why she's bothering taking part in the conversation at all. It's problematic to espouse a viewpoint that you don't actually hold or that you don't understand why you hold because it muddles the narrative and potentially does more harm than good. Listen first, then talk.

"Also, she needs to google that shit. Don't put it on facebook so that you can draw attention to the fact that you think blackface is bad. It's 2013, put your "I'm not a racist!" flag away and just don't be racist." - Elizabeth

Ouch. Not gonna lie, it stung a lot. Some of their responses were just reactions to the language in my post (for example, I didn’t want to implicate my brother on Facebook, so I used the term “audience,” which makes my motives seem much more authoritative than I meant them.) But some of the criticism was on point, and I was pretty embarrassed. None of these people know me (except Laura, who hasn’t known me personally in eight years) and yet they were judging so hard! I immediately went defensive.

Chapter 3: In which I try to defend myself, sort of: I chatted Laura about her feedback. Big picture, I’m glad she sent it. As we’ve discussed White Privilege Syndrome’s sneakiest strain is the assumption that the way you want to be interpreted is the way you will be interpreted. Julianne Hough ran into this fact with her Orange is the New Black costume, and clearly I was right there with her. While Laura and her friends’ interpretations of my post were not what I had intended, it doesn’t matter. Through their lens as women of color, which I do not share, my attitude towards the problem of blackface was read as appropriating, condescending, elitist, and ultimately offensive. I chatted Laura, and we discussed it further:

Me: i was hoping that someone (likely someone not white) had written an article or blog post explaining in their own words their experience with blackface, and i was hoping that by asking around, people would send me stuff precisely outside of the scope of what i read on a regular basi

Laura: http://www.grantland.com/blog/hollywood-prospectus/post/_/id/90797/how-to-be-a-white-person-on-halloween-hint-skip-the-blackface

Me: yep, that’s one of the ones that people sent me

Laura: i didn’t really like it though, because while i love rembert browne. i think it doesn’t really explain that that shit is straight up racist because racism exists and we live in a white supremacist society. white people have the privilege to put on faces and cultures for a minute and then go back to their whiteness that carries real advantages

Me: yes i agree

Laura: people of color have to dress up white and live in a white world everyday and we don’t get any of those advantages


Me: i’m pretty surprised by the reaction y’all had, but I’m really glad you brought it up

Laura: well it’s personal. it smacked of academia, it smacked of coming from a place of asking PoCs to explain racism

Me: right? because isn’t rule of privilege #1 recognizing that the way you intend your words to be heard isn’t the only the thing that matters context matters, history matters, the way you are interpreted matters too. so maybe a good lesson for me

Laura:  also i think in the context of a lot of news and comments and things i’ve seen this halloween. people make a big deal about us moving towards a place and time when it’s not offensive because we’re all equal

Me: lol, not in our lifetime

Laura: and i think thats bullshit because this history is live and well and it’s not in the past its my living present

Me: yours and a lot of people’s

Laura: truth

So that’s what happened. I still feel a little embarrassed by how little I thought about my original post, or the impact it might have on people who confront this issue in a non-academic way in their lives every single day. Feels a bit like getting caught with my pants down. I’m grateful to Laura for bringing it up, rather than just letting her friends rant about it without me ever knowing about the conversation that my post had started. We all need reminders from time to time.

Happy Halloween, y’all. Stay safe out there.

Related Post: Effie Trinket does yoga.

Related Post: Even pumpkin-carving gets sexualized


Filed under Hollywood

Effie Trinket Does Yoga, and other Halloweenery

So yeah, it’s Halloween. Cue gasps of horror at sexualized children’s costumes, cue hurrahs at non-hetero couples costumes (even if they’re still pretty lame), cue spasms of slut-shaming and victim-blaming about girls who wear revealing costumes.

Do I think it’s silly when girls decide a mini-dress and mouse-ears make a costume? Yeah, a little bit. Have a little fun! But do I think they should expect harassment for their wardrobe choices? Of course not, that’s classic victim-blaming and it’s capital-N, capital-C Not Cool.

If there weren’t so much pressure and judgment heaped on how women dress every day, Halloween wouldn’t be such a big deal. We spend so much time trying to look good (but not slutty), attractive (but not like we’re trying too hard), that on Halloween it’s almost a relief to be able to attribute your sartorial choices to an external holiday.

Halloween is a chance to be ridiculous, to set aside for a minute the constant pressure to look a certain way. For me, that means wigs and stickers, cardboard Scrabble games, and bandanas. All I want is to be able to look back at my photos and be like “Fuck yeah! Leslie Knope!” Has anyone ever said, “Fuck yeah! Sexy kitten!”?

My instinct is to be sad for women that don’t take advantage of that temporary freedom from looking sexy. But hey, maybe for them, the mini-dress and bunny ears is what they’ve been craving for months and months, and with the temporary free pass of Halloween, they finally feel allowed to do it up right. What do I know?

My Halloween was outstanding, largely due to this series of photographs:

Effie Trinket drives a car

Effie Trinket does yoga

Effie Trinket know’s what’s up

Effie Trinket and Leslie Knope, BFFs

Related Post: Halloween 2011

Related Post: Even pumpkin-carving gets weirdly sexual around Halloween.


Filed under Chicago, Gender

Sunday Scraps 80

1. WOMEN: A slew of famous and not-s0-famous ladies (Lena Dunham, Tavi Gevinson, Tracee Ellis-Ross) lip sync to Leslie Gore’s 1963 classic “You Don’t Own Me” to protest the GOP’s anti-vagina policies.

2. ICELAND: Can a constitution be crowdsourced? Iceland thinks so, incorporating ideas and suggestions from Facebook and Twitter into their new document.

3. HALLOWEEN: Comedians Emotistyle have a break-out hit on their hands with soon-to-be-classic Halloween anthem “Things You Can Be on Halloween Besides Naked!”

4. ECONOMY: McSweeney’s, of all places, has a really clear, interesting, well-articulated essay from economist Robert Dittmar on why we’re in debt. I think I might get it…

5. BREAKING BAD: Taylor Swift + Breaking Bad = This parody video on the dissolution of the Walter/Jesse relationship, “We Are Never Going to Cook Together.”

6. COLBERT: God, Stephen Colbert is so freakin’ smart. For Playboy, he’s interviewed about his history with family tragedy, maintaining two personas, and how he still convinces people to be on his show.

Related Post: Sunday 79: The Clintons, Harper Lee and Oprah, and Spanish immigration.

Related Post: Sunday 78: Reddit trolls, Stop and Frisk, Rebel Wilson


Filed under Advertising, Gender, Hollywood, Media, Politics, Really Good Writing by Other People

Halloween Post-Mortem

My costume was a hit:

The hat said "Boo"

At least, I thought it was a hit, and let’s be real, that’s all that matters. I wish the many hours I’d spent velcroing the pieces together had paid off with some clever interactive gamesmanship, but aside from some friends’ brilliant dirty wordplay (squint, you can probably read it), not too many folks figured out it was play-able. That might have been because they were drunk, it was dark, and nobody besides me wants to play Scrabble on Halloween. When I called hypothetical dibs on any eligible gentleman dressed as Boggle or Bananagrams, my roommate rolled her eyes and pointed out that, duh, there would be no competition for such men and my dibs was quite unnecessary.

I’m pretty sure y’all can guess where I stand on the whole Slut-o-ween issue. As usual, I’m in favor of sexy times for discerning adults who choose skin as a method of self-expression. I’m not in favor of the oppressive sexualization of the holiday that declares that for women, a successful costume is one with the least cloth possible. I’m also not in favor of marketing that persists in trying to sexualize children. Enough about that, you can read about it pretty much everywhere.

Instead, I present to you some of my favorite Halloween goodies.

  • Collection of excellent cartoons by Jillian Tamaki sexing up everything from smelly old gym sock to Virginia Woolf.
  • An articulate post full of examples of the terrible misogyny of “Indian Princess” costumes from Native Appropriations.
  • Heidi Klum is a BAMF.
  • Clues to my favorite costume of the evening: Girl in bustier, stockings, garters, etc. Handcuffs dangling off one hand, ball gag around her neck. Santa cap on her head.

It was a great Halloween. Ate a ton of candy, celebrity-spotted Michael from The Biggest Loser, and pranced around Boystown with a big bad wolf, little red riding hood, a Cardinals fan, Sarah Jessica Parker from Girls Just Want to Have Fun, Daria and Jane, Netflix, a variation on Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, and Calvin (with a stuffed Hobbes). Also, we ate this:

Pumpkin and squash stuffed with cheese and bread

Be jealous.

Related Post: The sexualization of Halloween shows up in unexpected places.

Related Post: A bit more about last year’s costume, and the banner of this blog.


Filed under Chicago, Food, Gender, Media, Sex

Sunday Scraps 34

1. TOLLBOOTH: Fun NPR story from Norton Juster, about the accidental way his first novel, The Phantom Tollbooth, became a masterpiece still beloved 50 years later.

2. HALLOWEEN: Great WBEZ piece from Claire Zulkey imagining the internal monologues of Halloween costume models.

3. BEAUTY: 2 minute trailer for Miss Representation, the documentary about media representations of women. The sequence of images of political women and the ridiculous accompanying commentary is pretty impactful.

4. EURO: Absolutely awesome infographic from the New York Times about the Euro crisis. Now I kind of sort of feel like I understand what’s going on. Maybe.

5. BELUGA: I was afraid of this video of the Shedd Aquarium’s beluga whale giving birth, but it is remarkably awesome and not at all scary. Plus, they set it to music.

6. RACE: Really interesting graphs about explicit and and implicit racial assumptions in Hollywood casting calls. Ok, fine, I guess Harry Potter has to be white, but why can’t more people follow Shonda Rimes’ lead?

Related Post: Sunday 33

Related Post: Sunday 32


Filed under Body Image, Books, Chicago, Gender, Hollywood, Media, Politics

I Want to Be Craftier

Look at what I made:

I didn’t “make” make it. I didn’t sit in front of a pottery wheel or anything, but I designed it and executed my design (flawlessly, if I might add). It says “This Is Emily’s Mug For Delicious Things Like Coffee” because I am secretly an old lady.

Last night, while watching America’s Next Top Model and velcroing the bejeezus out of my Halloween costume, I decided to make a Halloween resolution. You didn’t know that was a thing, but I just made it a thing, so there. I spend far too much time poring over other people’s work on Etsy and blogs like Bettencourt Chase, why can’t I do cool stuff like that too! I have glue, I have scissors, I have a healthy TV addiction that would provide a perfect backdrop to my crafting! Resolved: I’m going to be craftier

Project number one: fashioning one of these adorable frames from The Frisky.

Project number two: Does anyone have any good ideas of what I can do with all the single earrings I have? It’s getting to be quite the collection.

Related Post: Speaking of Etsy… crazy shit!

Related Post: I don’t think this guy still qualifies as “crafting” per se, but I’m still jealous.


Filed under Art